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I asked six experts on female sexuality what they would do enhance women’s sexual satisfaction. “But we also need to talk about what’s good about sex – about what it can and should be.” A consequence of this approach, she says, is that a lot of young people don’t understand that sex should be pleasurable for women.

“There’s an expectation of pain and discomfort, that sex is something they give but don’t get.” A more pleasure-centred sex education would cover not just pregnancy, intercourse and STDs, but also sexual response, consent and non-penetrative sex acts.

Now women, too, had a sexual booster to call their own. For one, the drug’s effectiveness is being questioned: Women who took Addyi reported an average of 0.5 to 1 more satisfying sexual encounters each month than women who took a placebo pill.

Then there was the question of whether the condition Addyi was designed to treat – hypoactive sexual desire disorder – was really a disease, or an ailment created to prime the market for a new drug. In November, Bloomberg News reported that in Addyi’s first month on sale, only 227 prescriptions were filled – compared with more than half a million when Viagra was released in 1998.

“If women don’t experience orgasm or if an orgasm takes longer than expected, often they think there is something wrong with them.” Instead of keeping our eye on the finish line, Serra suggests focusing on what is pleasurable in the moment: sexual thoughts, pleasing your partner, genital touch, non-genital touch or erogenous zones, breathing and orgasm.

Freezing your eggs “I am currently working with at least eight women in their early 30s who feel like time is ticking for them and cannot focus on the process of enjoying dating or choosing not to date because all roads need to lead to finding your ‘unicorn,’“ says Constance Quinn, a doctor, sex therapist and social work professor at Columbia University.

Taking that pressure off – for instance, via more comprehensive health-care plans that allow women to freeze their eggs if they choose – would allow more women to enjoy relationships for what they are, rather than worrying about whether they have a future.

Last modified 07-Sep-2016 05:43